Finding Freedom in No

Saying No to somebody when we are used to saying Yes can be challenging as we fear we will be rejected.

Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices. When we sense we are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to choose. Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will reject us for our assertiveness. But the reward we receive upon facing this challenge is true freedom of choice.

When others ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off disapproval. Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time. As you learn to articulate your personal power by saying no, you may feel compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding negatively to many or most of the requests put to you. The word “no” may even become your default response for some time. When you see that life moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of balance.

There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others make of you, provided these requests do not infringe upon your health or your happiness. Keep in mind that it is only when you feel you have the legitimate right to say no that you can say yes with utmost certainty, sincerity, and enthusiasm. While saying yes almost always has a cost, you can feel good about offering your agreement when your reasons for doing so are rooted in your individual values and your appreciation for the appeal before you.

Looking to name a startup? Don’t box yourself in.

You don’t have to be a high tech guru to understand the importance of building something right the first time. The same thing applies to finding a name for your company.

If you’re running a startup, you probably have a lot on your mind. You need to hire smart people. You need investors to get the idea. You need to build the offering. And you need it all done yesterday.

If you’re a high tech entrepreneur, naming is probably not in your tool set. Nor is it a particularly good use of your time. But it’s way too important to mess up because it’s the first stake in the ground for your marketing.

As a naming company, we don’t have the time to work with everyone we’d like to. So if you find yourself in charge of naming your own company, here are some ideas to put you on the right track.

1. Keep your requirements list short. The more things you want a name to do, the smaller the target you’re trying to hit. In general, the best names communicate one thing really well. Stick to the big ideas.

2. At all costs: avoid a name that is boring and will get you lost in the crowd. The worst crime in marketing: not getting noticed. Even worse: putting people to sleep.

3. Don’t get caught up in anybody’s rules about how to name a high tech company, like beginning with letters early in the alphabet or only looking at names that can turn into verbs. Good names connect with people on an emotional level, and emotions typically don’t play by the rules.

4. You never know where the best ideas are going to come from. It makes more sense to cast a wide net when you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for. Here are a few ways to go about it: (10 ways to name your company).

5. There’s nothing wrong with having a name that has a little mystery or sex appeal. Remember: your company is small and the world is big. There are a million things dancing around in peoples’ heads and your new startup is not one of them. Just try to stay away from cute or trendy.

6. Don’t get pigeonholed with a name that says what you do. High tech companies are famous for boxing themselves in and then trying to chase a new business model with last year’s name around their neck.

7. Some people say there are two kinds of names: descriptive and fanciful. Sure, but this won’t help you name your company. We say there are more like 25. If you’re naming a company, you’re better off with a lot of ways to think
about the problem. (Types of names — a field guide)

8. In the big scheme of things, it’s more important to solve the equation for the trademark before you solve it for the URL, because trademark can get you into a lot more trouble. So don’t be afraid to spend a little dough on preliminary trademark checks.

9. Speaking of URLs, you are not the first person to run aground here. Do not despair if you can’t find a brilliant name with an available URL. At this point, all the beachfront property in heaven is under contract. But this isn’t the end of the world. There are plenty of successful companies who don’t have their exact name as their URL. For more on finding a good URL, check out: (How to find a URL without having a brain hemorrhage).

10. Don’t fall in love with something you can’t have. Plan on getting to the finish line with 3 – 5 names that have all passed a preliminary trademark check. Figuring out a URL is a lot easier when you have some choices.

Direction…….

I find that the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving: To reach the port of heaven, we must sail — sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it — but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
     - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr, 1809 – 1894

for Saturday…………………..

Cherish all your happy moments: They make a fine cushion for old age.
Booth Tarkington

ahhhhh, consider this…………..

Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home,

a stranger into a friend.

It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Melody Beattie

Share Your Umbrella

             A group of people were standing at an open bus stop in a torrential downpour. One woman had her bag over her head to protect herself from the rain. A small car pulled up, a man jumped out with a large umbrella, opened it and handed it to the woman. He then jumped back in his car and drove off. A witness in a passing car shared what she had seen. A great way to guarantee a good day for yourself is to focus on doing something nice for someone else, with no expectation of anything in return.

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.” – Charles Dickens

today’s thought…

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go out and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Howard Thurman

As the world turns…….

Some people go through life trying to find out what the world holds for them only to find out too late that it’s what they bring to the world that really counts.
Lucy Maud Montgomery
Anne of Green Gables

TBTW= take back the weekend…..

If you find you are working longer hours and taking fewer vacations, you are not alone!

Evenings and weekends can often be spent catching up on work, cleaning the house, or taking care of errands.

Here’s a helpful hint: take back the weekend and make it be the break in the week that it is supposed to be.

For many, the ideal weekend is spent with family or friends. Others like to do something completely different from the weekday routine, whether it’s community work, trying a new recipe, or taking a class.

If you have to do some errands, catch up a bit on some work, or squeeze in time for a dental cleaning, just make sure that you limit the time on these must-do activities. If weekends are to provide a respite from the week, you need to plan for a break and build in the fun you want to have.

In addition, schedule actual down time. While the idea of scheduling time to relax seems counterintuitive, it’s actually necessary, or most of us will let that peaceful time slip away. So whether you want to nap, putter in your garden, or put on your MP3 player and listen to music, plan out some time for relaxing and enjoy it.

If you need some help getting there, let me

If you find you are working longer hours and taking fewer vacations, you are not alone!

Evenings and weekends can often be spent catching up on work, cleaning the house, or taking care of errands.

Here’s a helpful hint: take back the weekend and make it be the break in the week that it is supposed to be.

For many, the ideal weekend is spent with family or friends. Others like to do something completely different from the weekday routine, whether it’s community work, trying a new recipe, or taking a class.

If you have to do some errands, catch up a bit on some work, or squeeze in time for a dental cleaning, just make sure that you limit the time on these must-do activities. If weekends are to provide a respite from the week, you need to plan for a break and build in the fun you want to have.

In addition, schedule actual down time. While the idea of scheduling time to relax seems counterintuitive, it’s actually necessary, or most of us will let that peaceful time slip away. So whether you want to nap, putter in your garden, or put on your MP3 player and listen to music, plan out some time for relaxing and enjoy it.

If you need some help getting there, I am here for you.

RPC

thanks to CG for the weekend inspiration

for March 1

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
- Mark Twain, 1835 – 1910